'I've studied over 200 kids – these six magic phrases make them listen to parents'

Parents often struggle to get their children to listen, but experts say the key lies in connection rather than control.

Reem Raouda, a leading voice in conscious parenting and the creator of FOUNDATIONS —a step-by-step guide helping parents heal and become emotionally safe—has studied more than 200 parent-child relationships and is widely recognised for redefining what it means to raise emotionally healthy kids.

According to Raouda, children listen best when they feel emotionally safe and respected. “Obedience in the moment isn’t the goal. Real cooperation comes when kids feel connected and understood,” she said.

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The parenting specialist, who is also a mother, revealed six phrases she says can transform communication at home.

1. ‘I believe you.’
Doubting a child’s intentions can trigger defensiveness. Showing belief helps diffuse shame and keeps communication open.

Example: Child: “I didn’t spill the juice on purpose!”

Parent: “I believe you. Let’s clean it up together.”

2. ‘Let’s figure this out together.’
Inviting a child into problem-solving avoids power struggles and builds cooperation.

Example: Child refuses to clean up toys.

Parent: “I see you don’t want to clean everything now. Let’s figure this out together. What’s the first step?”

3. ‘You can feel this. I’m right here.’
When children are upset, logic won’t land. This phrase helps them regulate emotions by knowing you’re present and supportive.

Example: Child has a meltdown when their tower of blocks fall. Instead of “Stop crying, you’re overreacting,” say: “You can feel this. I’m right here.”

4. ‘I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on.’
Kids need to feel heard before they can listen. Giving them space to share often reduces resistance.

Example: Child: “I’m never playing with my brother again!”

Parent: “I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on.”

5. ‘I hear you. I’m on your side.’
This phrase shifts parents from adversary to ally, lowering tension and paving the way for solutions.

Example: Child: “This homework is stupid! I’m not doing it.”

Parent: “I hear you. I’m on your side. Let’s find a way to make this easier.”

6. ‘I’ve got you, no matter what.’
Mistakes shouldn’t threaten a child’s sense of security. This reassurance promotes accountability without fear or shame.

Example: Your child breaks a classmate’s project and calls you in tears.

Instead of lecturing, you say: “I’ve got you, no matter what. We’ll make it right together.”

The expert added that no single phrase can replace consistent respect and clear boundaries. Raounda said: "I always tell parents that if their default is yelling or threatening, then no “magic phrase” will undo the deeper pattern.

"But when you regularly protect your child’s dignity, make them feel safe, and follow through on boundaries, listening becomes the natural outcome."