Alan Carr has been pure TV gold from the moment The Celebrity Traitors kicked off. But now that the series has wrapped up and Alan has been crowned the winner, the BBC has a serious problem on its hands. Why? Because Alan has been one of, if not, the best traitor we've ever seen. Honestly, how on earth are they going to top this? For weeks, the comedian has been murdering and banishing his fellow contestants, somehow managing to stay under the radar the entire time. The attention was always on him, but the suspicion never was.
At times, he couldn't even keep a straight face while pretending to be a faithful, bursting into laughter mid-denial. He even forgot he had a shield, and yet everyone just brushed it off because, well, it's Alan. And it's been absolutely brilliant to watch. The final opened with the remaining contestants enjoying their final breakfast, with host Claudia Winkleman warning: "Question everything and everyone."
The contestants set off on their final mission, with the chance to add £20,000 to the prize fund. Boarding the Traitors Express, they were tasked with unlocking four crates, each containing £5,000 in gold, in 20 minutes.
But each key they needed to unlock the crates was padlocked. To get it, the celebrities had to crack the code by piecing together clues hidden in each carriage. But the boxes were laced with explosives, meaning the celebrities had to unlock the crates and grab the gold before the crates exploded.
They took a while to get going, but I don't think I would've done much better, so who am I to judge? Anyway, it didn't matter because the team managed to escape the train with the full £20,000 before the crates literally exploded, taking their final total to an impressive £87,500.
It wasn't long before the backstabbing began as Alan and Cat tried to persuade Joe to turn on David, unaware that Joe was secretly plotting with Nick to take down the traitors instead.
Despite their best efforts to manipulate the vote, the faithfuls finally saw through the deception, and Joe delivered the final blow by sending Cat home. With the second traitor banished, Alan was left to face the faithfuls alone.
The final showdown arrived, and the four remaining stars were pitted against each other. In the nail-biting final showdown, the remaining four celebrities were presented with two pouches. One was Banish Again, to be chosen if they believed a traitor was still among them. The other read End Game, signalling their confidence that all remaining players were faithful.
But the end was far from near as all four celebrities chose to banish again. It was at this moment that Alan pulled off one of the greatest stunts of the series as he called out Joe for switching sides and voting for Cat.
The move turned the tables completely, prompting David and Nick, Joe's closest ally, to turn on him and brand him a traitor.
Nick's choice literally left my jaw on the floor, but well played, Alan, is all I can say. The moment came for Alan to reveal himself as a traitor, and I had the same reaction as Nick: "Oh f**k!"
What I hadn't expected was to see Alan breaking down in tears after deceiving his friends for so long. Claudia was quick to remind him that he had just won more than £87,500 for Neuroblastoma UK.
From start to finish, Alan was nothing short of a genius, and it's left me wondering how BBC bosses are going to top this next year. They'd better start planning which celebrities could possibly match up to him, because anything less simply won't do.
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